Can't sleep.

Oh well.. how's life everyone?
It's 2am+ and i can't sleep.
Life hasn't been treating me quite well lately..
Maybe its because i'm starting to get greedy.
Yknow, when you start to feel happy... You won't want to feel sad anymore.

I slowly came to realise that i've been treated like an option to almost everyone.
Maybe they don't mean it.
It strucked me that i'm never someone's important person at all.
And i feel really sad.
That moment when someone put you aside for someone else.
(Okay i know i do that unintentionally too).
No, its not just one person... but many.
If you're reading this, thank you.
Because at least someone even bother to look up on my blog and see what's going on with my life.

Well i guess i just need to rant.....

Have you ever feel like shit when you tried something so so so hard and when others don't even appreciate your effort?
just that i thought my effort would be recognised because i really put in my best.
And it's really sad to hear remarks like
''aiya you're just lucky''
''cfm not you do one la''
''ew''

Will you like it if someone talks about how lazy you are when you are putting in your best everyday?
Instead of encouragements, i received nothing else.

And the only person who is always encouraging me and the one who always keeps me going all the time is MYSELF.

I think... I,MYSELF, is partly at fault too... Because in the first place,
I shouldn't even allow people affect me that much.


I made it so so so easy for them to enter..
but funny thing is, i can't accept it when people leave.
It always give me the idea that they find me boring/useless somehow...
And that's probably the reason why they leave... i don't know.

And another problem about me is that i try too hard...
I try too hard to please people in the sense that even if i'm unhappy with it i still do it.
I always thought that if they are happy, i WILL be happy too!
And i don't request anything in return, maybe just appreciate me i guess?


Well, i'm still learning from my mistakes.
Sorry for the moody post, i just need to let out now if not i'm pretty sure i won't be able to sleep soon..

Love,
Mag